In the past 2 months I have changed into a completely different person. Again and again. I'm not even the same person I was a week ago. So different I'm having to get to know myself again.
I have done this, I think to this extent, a few times since June 2, 2005. I can because I'm a new creation and I receive from a Man who is endless. Thus, I can become a completely different person with just another encounter with this man named Jesus.
I have learned and experienced what it's like to worship the King of glory with all abandonment. I've gone to the throne of grace with no adgena but to tell him how wonderful he is and to extravgently give myself to the praise of who he is.
In the past 2 months I have felt great pain; have had many tears caught in my Father's hand; felt the wonderful joy of the Lord; been with the poorest of the poor; held a child's hand who died 2 days later; rejoiced during the rehersal of the Adoria Fashion Show; have been more vulnerable than I have ever been before; confronted, challenged and persued by love; had a wonderful dream come true; been shown great mercy by God who is continually pouring out his goodness in my life and many many many more things that involve being ravished by his love.
Again, I don't even know who I am right now because I'm so lost in him. Every breath is worship. I'm breathing in heaven and exhaling it wonders. I'm amongst the most amazing worshipers I have ever been around as a group. Our pastors in school don't even know how to transition from worship to class time because they don't even want to have to stop us from worshipping the King. I am bold enough to say (ha, i dont even think it's all that bold because I know it would happen) that I think that someone who isn't saved would get saved just by coming into our worship sessions. When we worship him, he comes down and dwells among us. His presence is the thickest thing I have ever felt in my life. It's weighty. It's holy. It's .... amazing. How could we ever live without it? Every time I go deeper into him i think, "How have I been living without this??!!"
And the most wonderful thing is .... I get to give this to the world.
