An Ode to .... "Oh My Gosh"

Hannah Messick, this ode is for YOU! --- apologies for it taking too long!

"Oh My Gosh."

you know it well. You've prob said it a time or two and heard it said even more. This 3 word expression tumbles out of the mouths of people in many different forms. Here are some:



1. there is the oh-my-gosh-this-is-so-great-i-have-to-tell-you-about-it, oh my gosh. This usually comes after something really freaking sweet happened or if you are wanting to gossip (which I don't support doing).

2. then there is the oh-MY-gosh. you know this one, when you sound something like a valley girl and then you correct yourself b/c you just realized you sound ridiculous. ha ... that one is the funniest.

3. the best one is the "ooooh.myyy.goooosh." or it could be said "oooooooh.my.gosh." you say it this way when you have been stunned in some way shape or form. like when you tell someone something they can use against you later in life ;) ;) ... remember that one time you ... :)

4. and you can't forget the "ohmygosh" when it all sounds like one word. this can come out anytime you forget something. "ohmygosh i left my purse" or "ohmygosh are you sure i turned off the stove." it preceeds the freaking out. you dont really like saying this oh my gosh when you are alone. You have no one to shake you out of it. So you sometimes call a friend.

... those are all the ones I can think of for now.

Now I will say "oh my gosh" is very different than "oh my god" so you can't replace one with the other, it just doesn't work that way.

feel free to add any other "oh my gosh" expressions as you wish. they are welcomed.

oh my gosh, i gotta go to sleep.

Time.

Time is becoming a most prized posession for me right now. It has now become the 3rd most important thing in my life behind the Trinity and family/friends. It used to not be. It's not that I never really thought about my time, it was just already all planned out for me. I had things to do and places to be at certain times so I didn't really have that much extra time just floating around to think about. But now I do. And a lot of it.

I haven't had a job in 4 months. I havent been unemployed for that long since I started working at 15 years old. Almost 10 years. I have wasted a lot of time in these past 4 months. More than I wish admitting. I haven't been sitting and doing nothing. If that were the case I would hope at least one friend of mine would kick me in my ass. But then again, I got swift kick right in the rear on friday night, from a friend and we dont even know eachother. We are all friends at Bethel, so I'll just call him my friend.

So I have been challegned. In a bigger way than I ever have been before. Because now, the response is completely up to me. Yes, I do have school which is already scheduled. But I am now coming into my own. It's weird that it didnt really happen in college for me. Things were just there and I saw them and went after it. Now, I have to make things happen. I must seek the things out that I desire to do and be a part of. They aren't just going to come to me. And at some point, they won't just come to you either, whoever you are.

I did so many things during highschool and college. I really thought I knew how to network and be a steward of things. I really think that I knew that. But, it was kind of all just there, for my taking. So now, with no ties in Redding and wanting to grow and build and add people to my life who are on the same track as I am and further along, I have to go out. I have to seek things out for myself. Thats not really easy when most of your life things have just fallen together for you. I feel like I'm starting over. Like I really dont know anything about anything at all. It's a weird place to be. I'm not really a fan of it either. [Man, I didnt even ever have to find my own job! always through someone who I knew - - not saying thats bad but when you start over in a whole new place 1/2 a country away, that makes for an interesting journey].

So here I am, feeling like I know absolutely nothing about life, or at least feeling like i know absolutely nothing about how to go about what to do with my life, or where to even start for that matter. So I have a meeting with Stephen DeSilva this week. The treasure of Bethel and teacher of my stewardship AMT. I'll begin with adding his wisdom to my life an see where this takes me. Time is precious now, so I'm going to suck everthing I can out of the place that I am at. Time ... we don't get it back. Why am I just now getting that?

So, you REALLY want a testimony?

Testimonies are great. Seeing how God provides and is faithful is one of my favorite things.

But what about the process it takes to get them?

So many people, myself included, want testimonies. We want to say "LOOK WHAT GOD DID! HOLY CRAP THIS IS AMAZING!" and then share it with the rest of the world. But I'm finding out that the test to get the mony can be hard, frustrating, consist of times where you just might want to shake yourself (literally shake yourself wildly about) free from all the pressure around you that is trying to get you to quit and give up. God will even take His fire in the process and burn everything out of you in order to make you in His likeness and for His glory because He loves a heart that is willing to go through the flames to get the reward that Jesus died for.

Do you still want a testimony? Do you want the things that God says we have since we are His children? Do you want to go through the hard times that people don't tell you about when they give the glorious testimony of Jesus? If it gets hard and you can't see, will you give up? Do you REALLY want the testimony to share?

I'm learning that testimonies can be hard, but not all of them are and not all of them take a long time either, but mine is. Not hard to accomplish because God is the one accomplishing them. But hard for your flesh to choose to stand when all you want to do is lie down. Will I stand when I want to lie down? Will I continue to sew my prayers and my efforts into my dreams even if I don't see one stinkin thing?

Will I give my life for my dreams? Now mind you, that our dreams aren't just for ourself and that every choice we make is affecting the people around us. Our family, friends, co-workers ect. Good or bad, they affect other people. But will I hold fast to my dream? Will I give my life for it?

So, do you REALLY want to fight for your testimony?

With a gulp in my throat and knowing nothing of what lies ahead or how it will happen, I say yes. I say "God, do whatever you must do." I have my dreams, here they are. They are yours, help me go after them and help me stand in the process.

Dancing for Justice

I have been dancing since I was in 8th grade. Hip-hop/rap sucked me right in. First, Bone Thugs N Harmony then B.I.G, Puffy and Mase. I found out that I could move my feet and life would come out of my body. In my small bedroom where my queen size waterbed took up most of my room, I had to make due with the space that I had infront of my full sized mirror. There I found part of my personality and who I am. Its so easy. Dancing has become more like my 1st nature than 2nd nature. Its in my blood and flows to every part of my body. I let go and everything negative in my life flees.

Until I am infront of people in worship.

It is a task sometimes to let go infront of a group of people during worship. I can dance circles around people all day everyday if its just for dancing sake. In a battle I'm fine. I am also comfortable dancing around in random places. I used to dance at Vincenzos and finally got caught by Dennis (ha). When the resturant was empty on friday and sat nights around 10:30 and I was closing I would go in there and dance like no one was on the other side of the wall, or that people couldn't see me through our huge windows looking out onto the street. It feels like I can't do this during worship. At Bethel ... NOTHING is weird. So I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore because I could be free. But no, it was still there.

Until Julie.

We went on retreat this week. We also had a dance party on tuesday night. Everyone jumping around, dancing, laughing hysterically because the joy of Jesus was heavy in the room (I mean people literally falling over and out of their chairs laughing hysterically). It was aweome. I havent laughed so much and so hard in the last 2 years as I did on retreat. Then I saw Julie. She is a 1st year student at Bethel and she is confined to a wheelchair but it hasn't always been that way. As everyone was laughing (including Julie) and dancing. I stopped and weeped. I weeped because right now she is not able to express her joy by dancing or even moving her arms and really, I dont even know if she would want to. The burden became great. So, I weeped and prayed that Jesus would call her out of her wheelchair so that she could dance with us. To walk, to do things she hasnt been able to do in I dont know how long. To jump around like every single one of us was doing.

When I was praying (I think I was actually begging) for Jesus to free her physical body all I could think about was dancing. The phrase "dance for justice" repeated over in my head for what seemed like 30 times. So in a prophetic act for the justice of Julie's body to be free, I danced. I danced and jumped around as hard as I could until my calves were completely burning. Jesus said, "dance for justice." In 2Samuel 6, David dances before the Lord with all his might.

So now, as a prophetic act, I dance for the justice of those who can't. I will dance with all I've got to give. Knowing in my heart I'm making a statement to the enemy that says, you will not win, Jesus is the victor, I dance for their justice.

Getting what you really want

Some of us want certain things to be permanent. It really depends on what it is, since there are a gazillion (yeah thats the number i used) things that we want, desire, would like to see happen for our lives and others.





But what occurs inside some of us when the things they are desiring are actually starting to happen? Some of us stay and embrace what we have been waiting for. Some of us, like me, want to retreat. We can't close the deal. We are scared and afraid. And what for? More than likely (I know in my case), we are afraid of losing it. Of losing what we so desire for whatever reason. Of what is being handed to us from above to go arwy, get messed up, not work out without some sort of pain and hard work involved. We are in bondage, a salve to the fear of failing.





What if something we want and have desired is given to us, then taken away, however that may happen? That thing, whatever it is, comes crashing down right? We thought it was going to be so great, grand, and wonderful. And then in a heart beat ..... over, done, gone.





I'm not talking about seasons in life. I'm talking about embrasing the desires of your heart when they are actually given to you. Instead of running in fear of it being great, grand, and wonderful just to be let down in the end.





trust and betryal.





Thats what it comes down to. We were made to live in a trusting and secure environment.... check out the garden of eden (from where we are a far far, terribly far cry). But look what we are surrounded with. Brokeness.



AROUND US there are obscene amounts of brokeness.

but IN US .... Christ, the hope of glory. Let's get what is in, out and back in again.